Hello Xanga People,

I have not posted here in over a year , but I do read other's Xangas.  I now blog on www.johnandange.blogspot.com if you ever want to check it out.  I noticed some of you left footprints here, so if you want to read anything about my family or me , visit new one.  thanks.

                           The Visit: A Testimony

I just need to write this down; I want to testify of the ongoing goodness of God.

The last couple of weeks have been emotional for our family.  I do not really know why.  There have just been struggles intensified.  We often have irritations and struggles, but this last couple of weeks has been somewhat different.  Not knowing how to express it, not really knowing how to ask for prayer, but just feeling it and fighting not to lose joy.

Being thankful in little things has been key during this time which has sustained us; like hugs and kisses, making sugar cookies with the children and letting them get their hands all down in the dough, and just really enjoying it. Enjoying the Christmas tree (You all know by now how much I love Christmas trees), turning all the lights off and just sitting and admiring it. We have been checking out books and movies from the library and have just been curling up together to read or watch TV.Also,turning on Christmas music and making up dances to the music and just being silly has been much fun. This is true joy and medicine for a weary heart.

I think when we can learn to really cherish those seemingly little things and  know the presence of God in and through those cherishments, we open new doors for God to come in greater ways.  That is what happened today.

Today was John's first day home for his holiday time off of work. That in itself was such a blessing. Then around 1 o'clock this afternoon our dear friends, Jonathan and Sarah Vangeest, their children, and their Pastor friend from Taiwan,came to visit.  I was really looking forward to their visit because I knew that Pastor Yeh has been here ministering to so many people in the Chinese church and American Church.  I also,knew that he would be leaving the United States later this week to travel to other countries to minister in places where he has planted churches. 

So, my thought and prayer was. "Okay, Lord, this man of God has been so busy.  Just let this be a time where he can rest and be refreshed."

Needless to say, the Lord had other things in mind.  It was a time to receive from Him, It was an unexpected visit with unexpected gifts and surprises. As we sat and chatted about faith and the things of God, he told us that he felt as though God had given him a word for our family.

God is so intimate and He of course knows what we like and the things that bring us joy. So, with Christmas trees being one of my favorite things, Pastor Yeh got up from his chair, went to our Christmas tree and began to speak in Chinese about the tree and gave us a message from the Lord using the attributes of the tree. Sarah had to translate for us so we could understand the word.

This is a little of what he shared. First he spoke from Ephesians 1:22-23 which says : And he put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be Head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Then he shared about how God fills all in all in the church and everywhere. Therefore, life for us in the church is how our lives should be outside the church, in every place. So as the tree is a part of the universe and grows out of the earth, so we are like Christmas trees in that we grow out of our God who is All in All.  As a Christmas tree is kind of thorny,  so in our lives we have experienced many thorns.

Whereas thorns can become hindrances to our experiencing the Lord; in turn, thorns can be used for just the opposite and add beauty to the tree. As the tree stands tall and beautiful, likewise we grow and reach up and out to do great things for God.

He said, "There have been dreams in your heart to do great things for God.  He has not forgotten them and you will do them. You have been in a season of stress.  You still have a little way to go, but the season of this present difficulty is coming near to the end. You can begin to do the things God has given you the desire to do. "

There were many more things spoken to us individually but it is too long to write it all, but I really wanted to share this with you because I feel like so many of us all are big dreamers and God has given them to us. Little dreams are ours.  Big, seemingly impossible dreams, are God's!

About a month ago I had a vision of a huge Christmas tree standing right in the middle of downtown Atlanta.  It was as if I was driving down I-20 and I could see it clearly standing as tall as some of the towering buildings in the center of the city. It was decorated with beautiful colored lights and it could be seen from far away.

After the word today, I was reminded of the vision.  This is what I felt the Lord was saying. As the Christmas tree stands tall and strong, we will do the things God has given to us in our dreams and desires.  We will do great things for God in this city. Your dreams are God's dreams and He wants them to come to pass through you and through me.

Here are a couple of insights about the "thorns" of the tree adding beauty to it. The beauty of our thorns as we come in contact with others will prick others and open tough places in their hearts to bring healing and restoration. This is a tree of special fruit which will bring salvation and life to others. Also, this represents the truth which penetrates to the very marrow of our souls, but is so needed for lives to be saved.

Therefore, the very things which have been your thorns add fullness to your life and makes you beautiful, fragrant, and fruitful as you scatter seeds to be reproduced in others. How great it is to know that the very thing that can cause us to be bitter, we can choose to  release in order to bring blossoms of beauty to other's lives.

We were so refreshed and blessed today as the Lord spoke through Pastor Yeh. We prayed for him before he left and asked the Lord to refresh and to give him strength. After he put his shoes on and was walking out the door, he pulled an envelope out his coat pocket and handed it to John.  There was a money gift in the card.  We were speechless.  We were very low on money until payday, so we really needed it. I admit it was so hard to take it from this man who hardly knew us, but we knew it was from God's hand and it was God's visit to our house today.

The unending goodness of the Lord is so abundant and He waits to pour His blessings upon us in unexpected ways. We love to receive from Him and He knows when we are weary and need a special touch. However during this time in which we celebrate His life and His love, let us give our King a gift that would bless Him..  For He is the true Gift ; He is our Life.  May we bless His heart with a package wrapped just for Him; the gift of our Love, the gift of our adoration, the gift of our hearts full of worship for Him. 

Dear Father, Thank you for your attentive care in our lives.  You are so faithful to brood over us as a mother hen broods over her little chicks.  You are always focusing your thoughts ,Your desires, Your plans around your children. and those destined to be Your children. May we bring to the alter of Your heart this Christmas and every day, gifts that would bless you and please you! Help us to cultivate thankfulness and gratefulness in our hearts continually knowing that so many blessings are bestowed in small things.  You showed us that when you sent your precious little Bundle, Jesus, to this earth to demonstrate your massive, enormous, grace, mercy and love. We honor and bless you Father with all that is within our being. In Jesus Name.

                            LETTING GO; YET HOLDING ON

                        CHRISTMAS THOUGHTS FOR PARENTS

               I feel a tear rolling down my cheek as I think about the Father and the first Christmas when He sent his beloved Son, Jesus, to enter this earth.  How He must have wept tears of joy for the time had finally arrived when He would release the Savior for all mankind into the world. But yet how he must have cried with sorrow at the same time, for He was letting go of His own precious child; dropping Him into a cold and fallen world. How bittersweet, as the heart of God ached, yet rejoiced, in this inexplicable exit from glory, and awesome arrival into the beginning of life's true redemption story.

               As I think about the joys and pains of my own parenting and the process of having to let my children go little by little, I also contemplate this connection to the Father's heart and what He must have suffered, but yet gained.  As a mother carries a baby in her womb, the child is a part of her; not separate, but wholly connected within her being. Then, after a seemingly long nine months, the child is born and his body is separated from the warmth of his mother's womb.

               Subsequently, there is the ongoing process of sitting up, crawling, standing, and walking.  Then shortly after, there is kindergarten, grade school, graduation, college, etc....On and on it goes. The progression of separation. How can something so joyous be so painful at the same time?

                 Even though my oldest child is only fifteen, and I have not fully experienced this process, I feel a small ache within, knowing that it will not be long before he is  gone out into the world to walk out the destiny God has laid before him. Then, we will repeat the same process many more times after, with our other children.

                 Next, my thoughts travel to Mary and how she probably had to battle her own human desire to hold on to this perfect, precious Son, and to never let let Him go.  Yet, within her heart, she carried the joyful, but painful truth that this child was born to go forth and to redeem the nations of this world.

                 How protective she must have been over this dear One knowing she was nurturing the Son of God, yet how piercing to her very soul as she had to release her hold upon this holy child God had entrusted to her care. The gracious, accepting, and loving God, chose to include us in this process of parenting whether we have natural children, spiritual children, or both.  For in parenting the ones He has entrusted into our care, we join Him in the bittersweet joys of a parent's pure love for a child.

                Great is our God who would let go of His very heart, His Son, that He would manifest His unfailing love for all of His children as He gave up that which He loved the most.  For God so loved this world, He so loved His children, that He sent the apple of His eye, the joy of His heart, His precious holy child, that we might someday return to HIm.

                 As we enjoy this Christmas season, may we simply revel in the simplicity of this first Gift, the Love of a Parent, pure and unblemished. The Father of Glory stooped as a natural father may stoop to have eye contact with his child and relate to that child.  The Father knelt down as a father kneels to gather his hurting, crying child, and as a father bends to sit and lay on the floor to roll and play with his son.

                 Our holy, majestic Father, came down to wrap and swaddle us in His eternal love; to look into our eyes, and to talk with us and to embrace us.  He did it through Jesus, and He shares His love moment by moment if we would unite our hearts with His to receive it in its entirety.

                May we, likewise, stoop in the same way to love our own children, spiritual or natural, and bow down to enjoy them all through the seasons in which we get to hold them; knowing deep down we are releasing them little by little.

              As we look into their eyes, may we see the ocean of the Father's love reflected there. For this is where He is.  He waits in the eyes of children that we may grab hold of Him, the ONE we will never have to let go of ! Merry Christmas!

Contently she smiled as she bundled Him up,

Cradling while kissing his face,

Tenderly she whispered the name of her Lord,

As she soothed this bundle of grace.

"Jesus, Jesus." she murmured.

Her heart oozing intense adoration,

Tears of emotion dripped from her face,

As she soaked intricacies of divine creation.

Like any newborn baby,

No hint of Shikinah glory to see,

Ten fingers and toes; soft downy hair,

"Lord , how could all of this be?"

She held in her arms,

the Hope of the Nations,

Anointed Savior of All,

Wonder of Wonders

Humbly born,

In a filthy , cold cattle stall.

She pressed the baby tightly,

against flowing affections,

Breathing in the scent of pure Love.

"Help me Lord, to be his mother,

To keep watch over Heaven's Dove."

Holding on as she swaddled Him,

Knowing what words cannot express.

The time of letting go,

Would come soon enough,

"Will I pass this painful test?'

But for now she would simply treasure,

The Father's first gift of His heart.

Peace and stillness flooded her soul,

Realizing they'd never really be apart.

Holding on, yet letting go,

For now she would simply treasure,

The fullness of the ALL in ALL,

Which separation could never measure.

Gazing into the eyes like a dove's,

An ocean of Heaven within,

Savoring the moment in her heart,

As she pressed God against her again.

                                                    The Healing Tree

         Last Friday was a strange day. It was the day after Thanksgiving , and three of the children had been sick during the night ; myself included.  However, there was still that glimmer of hope that we would still get to venture off to the Christmas tree farm  to saw down that special tree we have been looking forward to for weeks!!! We debated back and forth about going , but finally decided to make a go for it anyway. 

   Even though some of us were not feeling our best, we still enjoyed the short trip out to the tree farm to ride along the bumpy dirt roads scoping out the selections.  It felt really good to be out of the house, especially since the air was fresh and the sun was shining.  We seemed to forget about our ailments as we weaved through the rows of trees.

 After strolling through the vast assortment, we all decided and agreed on the perfect tree for us. It was fun watching John, my husband, and Tommy our 13 year old, on the ground together, side by side, Father behind son , sawing down the tree.

As we traveled home with our new purchase, we anticipated the evening of putting on the lights and decorating the tree. Even though we ended up having sickness in the family the entire week after that day, I will never forget how everyone was so cheered and strengthened by our little activity of tree searching, tree lighting and decorating. I remember looking at the tree that evening after we had placed the last ornament, and thought, "Wow, the healing tree!"

Even though we were not healed that day from the virus rampaging the family, we were healed in a sense in our hearts and minds by the family time we shared in celebrating the ancient tradition of the Christmas tree.  I will never forget that day.

Even today as I finally had a little time to just sit and admire the tree, I began to think about all the ways the Christmas tree represents Jesus and His life. The Christmas tree means many things to different ones and has for many years. It has been around since days of old and was used in many pagan festivals to honor gods and spirits.  

In addition , there have been stories that Saint Boniface, an English Monk, came upon a group of pagans who were gathered around an oak tree and were preparing to sacrifice a child to their false god. However, Boniface flattened the tree to stop the sacrifice and to save the child. Afterward, a small tree sprang up in its place and Boniface declared to the pagans that it was the Tree of Life and it represented Christ. 

Another legend tells of Martin Luther, the founder of the Protestant Church, was walking through the woods, late one night. It was a clear, starry, night and the stars were shining through the branches.  The tree looked as though it had twinkling lights mounted and and encased upon and within the branches. So, Luther cut down the evergreen and brought it  home .  He then constructed stars of his own using candles and then placed them on the branches.

There are many more stories and legends on the Christmas tree.  If you would like to read more, go to http://www.holidays.net

But today as I was sitting quietly in my house and as I was gazing at the Christmas tree, I began to think about how it represents Christ and how there are secrets hidden within the roots, the trunk and branches of this celebratory tree.

The cedar tree is an evergreen which is fragrant, noble, and stately. It has a deep root system which allows it to stand tall without being blown down by strong winds.  Also, it is full of sap and bears a type of fruit. The cedar is a shady tree which provides refreshment to those who come under it.  Many fowls of every wing dwell under it. Furthermore, it is very profitable in that it is excellent for building.  The wood is strong and has a very attractive grain.  Solomon made use of it in building the temple.The rafters of the temple were made of cedar and fir, which  shows that many trees were used in constructing it.

As you think on this, one can see how the strength, beauty, power, nourishments, and provisions of the cedar represents Christ and all He stands for.  Also, a tree with a deep root system represents one of great humility. As one goes lower, He grows higher.  Our Lord, who chose to go lower by entering into this earth, made Himself of no reputation and came in the likeness of man. And being found in the appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross  (Phil. 2:7-8) .The glorious Tree of Life, Jesus  Christ, was stripped of all of His glory and hung on the gallows so that we might become flourishing cedars of His magnificence!

So, as we humble ourselves, we grow up and out as this stately tree providing shelter and shade to the lost in our neighborhoods, to our families and coworkers; furthermore reaching our city , out nation, and the nations of this world.

So, consider yourself a Cedar in the Kingdom!!! As we , like Cedars in the field, stand side by side, and as we go from strength to strength, we are no longer strangers and foreigners. But we are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God , with Jesus being the chief Cornerstone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit. (Eph. 3:19-22,Ps. 84:7)

As you read this poem, think about your Christmas tree and reflect upon how it reflects and represents the life, love, power, and beauty of Jesus Christ. The life of the Father, the Love of the Lord; He labored and toiled, on Calvary's tree.  We become a tree of life to the nations, a tall and stately tree, possessing provision for the needy of this world.  Many will see this tree on a hill and will be drawn to the warmth of His light, the beauty of His adornment, the majesty of His stature, and the deep roots touching eternal waters of hope.All will see, all will fear, and all will partake of its fruit, and WILL put their trust in their God!!!

                             Secrets of the Cedar

                  Disquieted soul,

                  Reflect upon,

                  Apples of glistening Gold.

                  Acquire these juicy jewels,

                  Devour their sweet utterances.

                  Draw nigh to heavenly adornments.

                   Famished one,

                   Come under,

                   Fresh leaves of life,

                   Rest within,

                   Gaze upon,

                   Lacy settings of Eternal Evergreens.

                   Spent and weary heart,

                   Harken unto,

                   Precious murmurings of candor.

                   Inhale this healing fragrance,

                   Savor and find refreshment,

                   Within divine provision.

                   Liquid Life,

                   Within the Sap,

                   Hidden and Discreet.

                   Abundance for all ,          

                   Who would come under,

                   To drink and reside within.

                    Remain blessed one,

                    And you become,

                    Shade for the Parched,

                    Rest for the languid,

                    Food for the starved,

                    Hope for the forgotten,

                    Love for the loathed,

                    Life for the listless.

                    Tree of Seclusion?

                    Discreet and mystical?

                    I think not.

                    No need for perplexity.

                    Calvary's Tree,

                    Displayed for all to see.

                    Everything within, everything without.

                    Humbly given, provided for free.